Finding Your Courage as an Introvert

It took approaching my 40th birthday for me to find the courage to start this website. As an introvert, I’ve always kept my inner thoughts to myself. Putting myself out there and sharing those thoughts with others has always been one of my biggest fears. 

But if I’m being honest with myself, something I’ve always known is that my fear of putting myself out there has held me back. Big time. 

For shy, quiet, or introverted people, just finding the courage to put ourselves out there can be even harder than actually doing it. It’s a wall we’ve put up around ourselves to keep us safe. We get stuck in our heads, worrying about saying something stupid, making a fool of ourselves, and thinking about every time in the past these exact things happened to us.

I’m not sure where my newfound courage has come from exactly. I’ve had a few big changes in my life recently, coinciding both with the pandemic and my big 40. Maybe the craziness of the past year has something to do with it. Maybe it’s knowing that I have so much more to offer than I allow myself to put out there. Maybe it’s the success I’ve seen others have when they’re not afraid to live their best lives. Or maybe I’ve finally decided that I just don’t care what others think about me any longer. 

I just don’t know.

But what I do know is that for those of us who are shy or introverted, that fear never really goes away. So, how do we find the courage to push it aside, even if it’s only momentarily?

Here are some things that have helped me along my journey.

3 Ways I Found My Courage and You Can Too

Physically challenge yourself and use it when things get hard.

I always hated running. I was horrible at it. In PE class, there was nothing I dreaded more than the required mile run.

And then when I was in my 30s, I decided to try running as a way to get some exercise and to challenge myself. It was hot, slow, and painful, but I kept at it. Soon, I was running 5Ks, then 10Ks, and then half marathons.

But I quickly realized that running the race was the prize. The process of getting there was the difficult part. 

Forcing myself to wake up early on the weekends to get the miles in; pushing myself to run faster as my lungs screamed for air; up and down hills and stairs; strength training; maintaining a healthy diet when all I wanted was ice cream or to have a drink with friends; not quitting when I was exhausted and thirsty and my muscles begged me to stop. 

While it took physical strength to run a race, it was the mental strength that I had to pull from deep down inside that got me there. 

Running was probably the hardest thing I had ever done in my life. 

As I progressed in my running, I soon found myself thinking back on every mile I achieved when other parts of life got difficult. When things get overwhelming at work, I find strength in thinking back on the half marathons I’ve run and the work I did to get there.

Have to cold-call someone I don’t know? That’s ok. It’s a lot easier than running a 5K.

Anything that challenges you physically also requires a certain amount of mental strength to get through it without giving up. Whether it’s running, swimming, biking, surfing, hiking, strength training, etc. find your own physical challenge and use it to help find your courage.*

Step out of your comfort zone.

If you’re like me, you hear this all the time from people and all you can think is “easier said than done.” 

But stepping out of your comfort zone doesn’t have to start with a big step. Smaller half-steps work just as well.

Maybe you’re shy and uncomfortable talking to someone you don’t know. The next time you’re out, compliment a stranger. The interaction might be brief. They might say thank you and move along, or they might engage in further conversation with you. Either way, you’ll have brightened someone’s day while also feeling pretty good about yourself. Once you’re comfortable doing this, you can start engaging people in longer conversations with a purpose.

Maybe you want to start a blog, but you’re not ready to share it with the world just yet. That’s ok! Create an anonymous blog that you can use to find your voice and style and build your confidence. Then, once you’re ready, share away! And if you’re never ready, you have a safe space where you can journal and get those thoughts out of your head.

There are tons of half-steps you can take before going for a full leap. Figure out what it is you want to try, and start small. 

Find your purpose.

Yes, it’s cliche, but it’s not wrong. Once you know what it is that fulfills you and where you belong, the courage and confidence you need almost seems to emerge out of nowhere.

Your purpose could be a professional calling, bringing attention to a social issue, or focusing on your family. You might find it in a creative hobby, sport, or volunteering with a local organization.

It really could be anything, but to find your purpose, you have to be willing to explore, try new things, and not be afraid to fail. Each failure leads you in new and sometimes surprising directions. 

Once you find the thing that’s yours, you’ll find that building the courage for everything else gets a little bit easier.

*Obligatory disclaimer – Please don’t hurt yourself. Check with your doctor before you begin any new kind of physical activity.